Monday, February 1, 2016

A Week in Blue & Orange


My hometown team is headed to the Big Game next weekend and because of that I'm wearing my blue and orange cheer outfit from Stellar. I played search roulette so that I could find something Denver-ish or Bronco-like in-world. I had hopes of finding fellow Denverites and having a place to practice my cheers. What I found was a really detailed stadium with a locker room that looks just like the locker room where they interview players after the RL games. (It was so detailed, in fact, that I had to Photoshop out some of the realism.) It even smells like virtual man-sweat in here!

I worked quickly to get these pictures because I was afraid that someone - like Papa John - might appear suddenly and throw me out. I'll be back though because I am very curious to see how SL football games are played. 

Now if you will excuse me, I need to find a virtual equivalent of the Puppy Bowl


Tuesday, January 19, 2016

Stuff to Do in SL: Be in a Game Show, Meet a New SLover

Want to do something new and fun in SL this week? You need to be at Hooligan's Roadside Diner at 5 pm SLT on Thursday evening for stand-up comedy and SL Squares - a game styled after the game show Hollywood Squares. Comedian Catboy Qunhua will host the game and there will be cash prizes for the winners! The event is in chat and voice, so don't worry if you can't talk out loud. As long as you can listen in and type in chat, you can play.

If you're not familiar with how the game is played here's a quick explanation: it's a game of tic-tac-toe where you win spots to put your X or O by agreeing or disagreeing getting the correct answer to trivia questions. The twist is that there are players in the squares answering the questions and the players have to decide whether to agree or disagree with their answers. 

As you can see in the photo above, taken at last week's game, I got to be in one of the squares. (Ignore the spelling of my name there - they were in a hurry.) Also, I know lots of trivia stuff so you can be confident that I am giving the correct answer at all times if you choose my square for your X or O.*

Do I need to convince you to join us? Ok. Sit down. We need to talk. Valentine's Day is in one month. How long has it been since you've gone on an SL date? That long? Wow. That's kind of sad. Well, if you are ever going to meet a new SLover, you need to get off of your sky platform and meet new people. You've already dated everyone in your SLocial circle. People are starting to talk. You are a wonderful, attractive person! You deserve to find SLove. You deserve to find SLove in the center square.

*Maybe. Sometimes. Do you trust me?

Thursday, December 24, 2015

Mall Crawl Christmas Story

Sometimes I use SL to do things I would never, ever have the guts to do in RL - things like going to a shopping mall in December. 

In SL malls, I do run into a surprising number of small children wandering around all alone. The little boy I ran into at this mall didn't seem to be concerned by his lack of parental supervision: he critiqued my poses instead of asking me to help him find his mommy. I decided that he needed some Christmas spirit. So, I sat him down in the food court and read him my favorite holiday story: 

A VISIT FROM SANTA  IN SECOND LIFE

Twas two weeks before Christmas, as I strolled ‘cross the grid,
pondering my avatar friends as I did.

As I TP’d to shops, I spied Old Saint Nick!
“Santa!” I IM’d, “Please help me! And quick!”

He nodded at me and then followed me home,
where I poured him an ale and he blew off the foam.

“Tell me Dear Santa– as much as you’re able.”
He kicked off his boots; put his feet on my table. 

“How do I determine who is naughty or nice? 

Please, Santa Baby – give me some advice!”

“You see, my dear Tym, there is a system I use 

to rank their behavior and that helps me choose. 

“Not ‘naughty’ or ‘nice’ – that’s so old fashioned!” 

His voice grew quite loud - he was very impassioned.

“Let’s take the Pearl Clutchers – hard to ignore.

Yes, they may behave, but, oh what a bore! 

“They always wear undies – sometimes multiple layers!

They delete empty boxes left by other players.

They stay the same species in real life or Secon’. 

They need a reason to be bad – this much I reckon.” 

He opened his mouth and out came a sound.

He turned a bit red and set his glass down.

“Santa!” I gasped, “Let’s keep this classy!” 

“Sorry, my dear – ginger ale makes me gassy.

“Following next, we have the Quite Nice.

They’ll help you in sandboxes – don’t have to ask twice! 

“They give newbies free things and share camera tips.

They’ll line up your textures and help you fix scripts.

“They spend time in dungeons and trolling sex clubs. 

And while they don’t own whips, they’re still mean to Subs! 

“Now, we have those who Could Go Either Way.
They were gracious last week, mischievous today.

“They know all the rules for the Gorean cities,

but they only go there to see exposed kitties. 

“They correct all their typos when in open chat.

They pronounce LOL on Voice – what’s up with that? :-P

“Get them some gifts that expose them to vice, 
and then you’ll find out if they’re naughty or nice!

“Then, we have those who are Just Sort of Bad.

They’re easy to shop for – but they make me mad! 

“You know who they are – ‘cause they crash all the sims

with bling and accessories that use up the prims!

“They spy on their neighbors when they’re having SLex.

They change the permissions on all your objects! 

“You know I’ve been saving the BEST for last!

If you want a good time, they are a blast!

“The Curl Your Toes Naughty!” he chuckled aloud,

“They’re having more fun than the Lindens allow!” 

I looked up at Santa with a questioning glance.

“Tym, Dear, their avatars never wear pants!

“They’ve got pose balls set up for a marvelous time,

and the way that they hold you is just so divine!

“They email you pictures of their naughty parts,
and their Role Play skills are way off of the charts!”

He got up to leave and I shook his hand.

I wasn’t quite sure – did I misunderstand?

I pondered the rankings, best as I could recall.

“Santa, the BEST you ranked NAUGHTIEST OF ALL!!”

He smiled, leaned in closely - almost touching my head,
“It’s Second Life, Tym, Dear. I like bad instead!”


Assuming the kid's little mind wasn't too scarred from that story, he'll have a wonderful Christmas. And he's also learned a valuable lesson about not talking to strangers. 

Merry Christmas! 

Tuesday, December 8, 2015

Stalking Turkey


Oh, wow... where was I? I think I was shopping for a turkey at Cyberkitten Bakery and Grocery - one of my go-to SL food shops. When you want fresh poultry you wouldn't normally go to a place that makes you think of SLex and kitty litter, but I have the Cyberkitten Grocery Discount Card* so I always check here first. 

Do you know where they don't have fresh turkeys? At the Adult Thanksgiving celebrations at Swingers Sim. Who knew that you could celebrate the holiday sans apron, if you know what I mean? The folks who designed the SL search database, that's who! I could make a very obvious stuffing joke here, but I won't. I didn't stay long since I was overdressed, but I might go back to see if they do anything special there for Hanukkah or Christmas.



Eventually, I did manage to find some extremely fresh turkeys at Mayflower and Plymouth VillageUnfortunately, the most delicious looking one took forever to wander into the frame so I could take this picture. By that time, I was too tired to bother catching him and taking him home to cook. My husband, Jerremy will just have to settle for a Second Life version of a turducken: a PriMeTex. That's a prim cube stuffed with a mesh stuffed with a texture. Yum! 

*Not really a thing.

Wednesday, October 21, 2015

Well, It Sure Isn't Taylor Swift



Yes, I know this could be considered a really old meme but it's a favorite. Of course, it's only old if you think things from 2012 are old. For example, maybe you are the parent of a really old toddler. I don't know; that's on you. 

If you aren't familiar with the original meme I'm referencing above go here and scroll down to about the middle of the page.

Friday, October 16, 2015

At the Bowling Alley


This video is the Pins & Grins comedy show from last Thursday evening. (Thank you for recording this,Geo Meek!) The lovely and talented ZoeyNewlon hosted the evening! She and her husband, comic C (a.k.a. PhotographerC Bender), organized the event and did a great job of it! 

My set starts at roughly 29:25. I decided to work the shoe rental booth while I talked - I didn't need the extra challenge of trying to use mouse look to aim and bowl while I tried to perform. I managed to upload a texture to make a Pins & Grins staff "Ball Washer" t-shirt moments before the show started. (It was a very busy and stressful week in RL.)

One of my friends gave me the idea of having a morning stand-up comedy event for the people on the other side of the word who can't make it to a show during Second Life Time evening hours. So maybe I'll suggest to Zoey and C that we have something called Comics & Crêpes? or Pancakes & Puns? Snark & Snausages?

I hope you enjoy the video!

Tuesday, October 13, 2015

Rock the Boat


Jerremy and I needed a new rowboat. That meant shopping, because this one I am sitting in above is the one Jerremy had.

Now, I love my husband very much, but some of the things that come out of his inventory are very "interesting." I'm pretty certain that he has never ever thrown anything out. I imagine that his inventory is like an archaeological dig site. Only dustier. 

Of course, I didn't come here to tell you about Jerremy's inventory. I came here to tell you about sex rowboats. 

While shopping for a new boat, I've run across an awful lot of sex rowboats. That seems dangerous. Isn't the standard advice for rowboats that you should never stand up in them? How are we expected to go through the kama sutra in one? Someone is vastly overestimating my sense of balance during climax. 

There is a reason that most sex and all floor gymnastics routines take place on a soft, bouncy surface and not on a boat. And that reason is to land safely after your dismount.  

I could just buy a PG rowboat. But then what do we do if we get in the mood while using it? We'd have to ruin the moment to go allllll the way to the back yard to get to the sex hammock. Or inside the house to fire up the sex toaster. But if I choose the adult rowboat, we could drown. (We'd drown happy, but we'd still drown.)

Decisions, decisions.


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