The SLawshank Redemption: My Guilty Confessions

Help. I need an internet lawyer.

I did Strawberry Singh's SL Guilty Confessions meme (Share your top second life guilty confessions.) and, now, I'm in Second Life jail. Here are the charges:

• Conspiracy to make myself seem cooler than I really am by using the phrase "...when I was an SL model..." once too often.
• Criminal Mischief for flying in sims with flying disabled. 
• Contributing to the Delinquency of an Avatar for showing others how to override no-fly zones.
• Perjury for telling people that I was "The Face of Lesbian SexGen" after posing for a couple of ads back when I was an SL model.
• A bajillion counts of Lewd Conduct for hoping onto pose balls with my husband Jerremy. 
• Fraud for faking a crash once to get out of an awkward conversation. 
• Indecent Exposure for accidentally TPing naked into General rated sims. 
• Loitering for not moving away from a landing spot at a crowded event quickly enough that time  my RL toaster caught on fire. 
• Trespassing for cam shopping events before they open.
• Espionage for discussing hunt item locations. 
• Public intoxication on happiness whenever I find cute food items or miniature chairs for sale.  
• Littering for accidentally moving furniture and other items a million meters off sim and then losing them completely while when trying to rearrange them in my house. 
• Smuggling too many scripts and/or attachments into a fair.
• Arson for making my avatar smoking hot.

But, it's all just a big misunderstanding! I was just kidding! It was entrapment! There are no very few witnesses! I'm mostly innocent! 

Except for the arson. For that, I am guilty as charged.

Please visit me? 

7-day Virtual Squat Challenge

Oh, hi there! Let me catch my breath! I'm in the middle of today's Squat Challenge exercises. Real Life versions of these 30 Day Squat Challenges are going around the internet like wildfire - you can find them on blogs, Tumblr accounts, Pinterest, exercise and diet sites, etc. In them, you're challenged to do an increasing number of squats each day until, on the 30th day, you are doing ∞ squats and you can rip phone books in half with your bare buttocks.  

This RL exercise meme inspired me to create a squat challenge workout for our SL avatars. Unlike the RL challenges, my virtual squat challenge takes much less effort; takes only 7 days to complete; and will give you the perky, pixel posterior of your dreams. I even made up a little chart for you to follow. Enjoy!

My SLife as a Haiku or Four

Mind if I join in?
Love a good SL Role Play!
I'll be the cashier. 

When I was SL grocery shopping recently (not really!), there were two other people there RPing a mom and kid grocery shopping. (I tried to get them in the picture for "atmosphere" but they kept moving.) Is grocery shopping with children in tow the kind of fun experience you'd want to reenact for fun? I guess nothing about SL should surprise me anymore. After all, there are people in here RPing things like slavery or living before the invention of frappuccinos, too. *shudder*

Anyhoo, after many tries, I finally finished the new haiku blog meme challenge from the lovely and talented Strawberry Singh. I got on a roll and I couldn't decide on just one haiku. 

This is my SLife in a few short syllables: 

Exploring the grid.

Noob says hi. I say hi back.

Is this amusing?

...and some more syllables: 

Gimme more money!

My typist is a sucker

for supporting me.

...and even more:

Who's on the pose balls?

Jerremy and Tym, again? 

That's not all they do.

Tah dah! Your turn, now!

She's a Haute

Hi! I can help the next person! 

Every once in a while, a heated discussion will start somewhere in our SL community regarding the name of the event Whore Couture Fair. (First things, first - when I got there and realized that flying was disabled at the event, I said words much worse than 'whore'.)

Anyhoo, while I rang up some of the customers, I thought about the issue. Maybe people object to the use of the word 'couture', which actually refers to custom made items? In that case, I think that if I was in charge I would call the event Harlot Depot - but with the 'ot' in harlot pronounced like it is in depot. 

However, that still leaves out working men. Is that the controversy? Maybe not, but don't steal my idea for the Manwhore Store.

3 Wishes for Second Life

In honor of Strawberry Singh's newest meme - Three Second Life Wishes - I typed the word 'wish' into search and TPd to the first place listed - Wish. There I found an Ancient Egyptian Themed mall, and HELLO!!! Talk about wishes coming true: I love malls!

While I was checking out the new Spring after-life-active-wear collections (Loin cloths are in!), I thought about what things I would want if I was granted three wishes for Second Life:

1. Well, first, obviously, I'd wish for infinite wishes. I mean, who doesn't know to use the first wish for that? And even if the wish grantor said, "No wishing for infinite wishes!" I would still try. The worst they can do is say no, yes? Yes.
2. The second thing I would wish for is to always be the prettiest avatar in Second Life. (You would, too, and you know it.)  
3. My third wish would be for the ability to sort people's inventory for them without having to log into their accounts. I've always been dying to see what my husband Jerremy has in his inventory since I don't think he has ever sorted it or deleted anything since he first rezzed. Plus, I could turn this ability into a nice little side business.
4. Fourth, Second Life would be renamed. The name Second Life has too many bad connotations and baggage. I'd rename it Girl Wonderland, after this blog. Or maybe Tymmerie-atropolis? New Thorneland?
5. Next, I'd wish that playing SL increased your metabolism (without making you all sweaty, of course) because then I could snack a lot more while playing. 

Well, that's five not three, but it's ok since I have infinite wishes. The Wish sim turned out to be very wish-pirational.