Cold Turkey

It is almost time for the Thanksgiving Day holiday in the United Sates. It is my favorite holiday (after my RL birthday, of course) because it remains so pure – just a whole day spent appreciating the good things in our lives and breaking bread with one another.

I know how you feel... (Find this card and other holiday goodies at Home for the Holidays. Pssssttt...bonus for the ladies: Maxxx Night - one of the shop's owners - may be there...sans shirt. Yum.)

If you want to host a Thanksgiving Day meal in Second Life also, here are a few of what *I* consider key elements.... and how to do the holiday Second Life-style:

Crowded Airport
In Real Life, early in the week, you’ll get to stand in an airport, shoe-less and humiliated, while one disgruntled Transportation Security Agent rummages though your purse (No – you cannot have a piece of gum.) and another feels you up -- because something set off the metal detector (read: that odd piercing you forgot to take out). Thankfully, you can skip this one in Second Life. Make a mental note of this.

Apron. Wearing one while you cook to will help set the scene for your Norman Rockwellian fantasies of the perfect family gathering. Unfortunately, the only one you could dig up came from the French Maid costume you wore for Halloween. Try to explain to Grandma why there are holes are cut out in the bib over your breasts. Next time, get a real Thanksgiving Day apron from Love, Aly (The Thanksgiving Dress outfit comes complete with three pretty gingham dresses, a platter of turkey and fixings and animations. The apron and food are shown in the photo below).

Drunk Uncle/Aunt
Valuable for learning family secrets. In SL, you will probably have to settle for drunk Avatar friends. Valuable for learning scripting and/or Linden Lab secrets.

Young Relatives
You will be the drunk uncle/aunt at their holiday dinners when they grow up. Remind them of this as you get a refill on your wine. Watch their little eyes fill up with tears.

Did you know that I am a Master Baster?

Baster
Great for keeping the turkey moist. Get yours – along with a spatula - in the Naughty Chef Costume from K.O. Designs. The outfit that comes with it will …oh, never mind….

Kiddie Table
Take your seat at the kiddie table. Wonder why you are still there in your 30’s. Wish bad health upon an older cousin in hopes of opening up a seat at the adult table next year.

Ummmmm....please pass me a juice box...?

How's that cough, Cousin Fred? (Voodoo doll from Abranimations.)

Grace
Your brother's new girlfriend, who is meeting the family for the first time, offers to say grace. She happens to be an atheist and fresh from rehab. She recites a variation on the Pledge of Allegiance with a little of the Serenity Prayer thrown in for good measure.

Next, take turns going around and sharing one thing for which you are especially grateful. You say teleporting. (See: Crowded Airport)

Turkey
They might not like me telling you this, but….you can atch-cay a nice, fat urkey-tay over in aledon-Cay.**

So, can you come over this Thursday afternoon at, say, 1:00-ish?

Cranberry Sauce
And not that homemade stuff either. It isn’t a true American Turkey Day without the canned cranberry sauce. The little marks from the can serve as cutting and serving guidelines.

Crap on the left, luscious on the right. By the way, I could not find canned cranberry sauce anywhere in SL, so I had to make it for the photo. So, the canned stuff is really homemade. (Did I just blow your mind?)

Pie & Whipped Cream
There is nothing better than a slice of freshly baked pumpkin pie. But, whipped cream is pretty darn good, too.Take a microscopic slice of pie and cover it with several pints of topping. Quickly run to the next room and eat it. Later, look genuinely surprised as everyone wonders how they managed to get only two servings out of that can of Reddi-Whip.

I didn’t eat all of it.

Rubber Gloves
Get your mind out of the gutter. The dishwasher will be too full to handle every dish you used today, so someone is going to have to do some hand washing. You can get out of this duty. Put on a nice pair of rubber gloves and wander in and out of the kitchen – everyone will think you are hard at work and won’t ask you to do anything else.

Busy, busy, busy. These rubber gloves are from Punch Drunk's Happy Housewife outfit. Comes with a cute apron, too. The lovely kitchen? Get it at Del Sol.

Sleep/Naps
Even Avatars will need a mid-afternoon nap. Look around at the flop house that your home has become and smile. These unconscious, snoring, drooling people are the people you love. Do not go through their wallets.

Football
All day, all night....the day is an orgy of games and color commentary. Plus, a pick-up game in the backyard. Plus, Fantasy Football League. Too much is never enough.

So, that is how you have a traditional middle class American Turkey Day in Second Life - at least based on the way have I experienced it in my First Life. What am I thankful for in my Second Life? That you are reading this blog. That SL has become such a fun new hobby. That I have had the privilege of meeting such amazing, smart, funny, caring people in SL. I am so addicted to you all - the only way I could ever quit you is...cold turkey.

Happy Thanksgiving, Everyone!

**For those who aren't familiar - that was Pig Latin.

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