Thursday, September 27, 2007

Model SLife

Jimeny Christmas. Who isn’t a model or model wanna-be in SL? Obnoxious really.

But since even I, technically challenged as I am, managed to create a cute Avatar, I thought it would be an easy, quick way to make some extra Lindens. I was feeling sheepish about being unemployed in SL. Unfortunately, after pounding the virtual pavement, the only modeling work to be found reminded me of character Coco Hernandez’s final scene in the 1980 movie Fame!* [See end of post if you don't know or remember.]

Coco in happier times.

I even found my-self waiting innocently and patiently in an outdoor meeting space one evening after reading an announcement that an agent from Play Boy [sic] would be there scouting for models. The spelling challenged “agent” never showed, of course…just some other wanna-be’s and horny men wanted to pick off the weak candidates (or so I imagine) for some quick cyber. Truth is that I am willing to show you my kitty for a chance to be on the cover of a magazine. Yea – I said it.
Why do I want to be a model? Attention. Little bit of PR. I am still struggling to learn the best ways of meeting people and earning Lindens that won’t leave me searching for my panties hours later. (You mean they really don’t hold business meetings at the Orgy Paradise club? What?!?!).
It is just another attempt to get a foothold in SL until I find out how I can best contribute to this world. Kinda like this blog.

And occasionally you might see my kitty here, too...sigh.
*Come on- you remember – Coco, played by the beautiful Irene Cara, ends up at a "screen test" with a sleazy director who forces her to take off her shirt? So she cries and undresses while he snaps pictures? Welcome to my world....
© 2007 All Rights Reserved.

Sunday, September 23, 2007

Nice shoe...

Just another Tuesday night in Second Life....
In SL have all the sexual bells and whistles a girl could ever want, let me tell you. I have prim sex toys, body parts, cuffs, collars, special effects, BDSM animations, pose balls, sex furniture, an arousal HUD, etc. I am equipped for SLove.

These things were purchased by a wonderful, generous, excited SLover. And who am I to stop an excited SLover? [grins mischievously] I LOVE excited SLovers. All of these bells and whistles are reserved for him, of course.

I really, really, really like my new toys, but a few things have given me pause. I have an Xcite! Clit! (Yes…Clit!) so big that I fear it will get me evicted from my condo for pushing me over my prim limit. Happily, it is impossible NOT to find. (I truly need one of those in RL.) I also have sounds for my SL vagina. [pause]……..In RL, I am awfully happy that my kitty is nice and quiet. I can take her to libraries and to the symphony. But, sounds? Doctor. Stat.

My next big task is to complete installation. For some reason, installation of these parts has got to be one of the most complex tasks in all of SL. During Installation, you’ll discover that everything revolves around the clitoris. Just as it should in Real Life. The clitoris anchors the kitty and all of the special effects are placed inside of it as well. Note that you are doing all of this while your lady parts are sitting on the floor next to you. Collecting lint.

If you should decide to add some spice to your SLove life and pick some of these accessories, here is a warning: installation is not a task that should be done when you are in the heat of the moment. So plan ahead. Or you will find yourself, 30 minutes later, with the imprint of a sex ball in the small of your back, bald and with a vagina attached to your left foot.

Not that this has ever happened to me, of course.
© 2007 All Rights Reserved.

Friday, September 21, 2007

Sour Grapes of Wrath

The Mean Girls’ blog has it right – just head over to Kinko’s or K-Mart and make your own damned calendar.
There is an overabundance of virtual beauty in Second Life. Which is probably why there were over 600 entries to a recent virtual girl calendar contest. And probably why people stooped to cheating to get votes.
I entered excitedly when I first heard about the contest. I had hoped that I’d get a cute picture and a modeling job or two out of the experience. (I mean, I do have SL rent to pay..)
I assumed that the pool of entrants would be narrowed to a reasonable size by the organizers…say, they might have a pool of 25–30 for people to vote on to get the final number they needed.
On the first day of voting, I went to see if I had been selected for the voting round. But I soon discovered that, ridiculously, every single entrant had been kept in the pool - [cattiness] no matter how fugly . [/cattiness] Oh. My. God.
At the voting location, there was no organization of the pictures, that I could discern. They weren’t alphabetical, there was no index or map that showed where to find specific people, etc. It was literally impossible to find my picture – it just wasn’t there.
But what I did find was someone buying votes. A Group Leader for (.. hmmm… I’ll call the store… hmmmm… let’s see… F.A.R.T.) F.A.R.T. was standing in front of his friends’ pics offering to give people $500L gift cards in exchange for voting for them. [cattiness] But, I was consoled to realize that if you need to pay for votes to win a “beauty pageant”, then perhaps that money would have been better spent on new shapes and skins. [/cattiness] Astonishingly, when I called the F.A.R.T.ers on it, I got booted from their update group. OK…well, I certainly do not have to spend anymore Linden’s at that shop anymore. Harrumph.
At first, I was a bit deflated since I am so new to SL and I realized that instead of a beauty contest it was turning out to be nothing more than a political campaign. Then, I got pissed. Even if my entry had actually made it into the voting, I had no chance at all against well connected, older players.

Ultimately, there would have been no need to campaign for votes if the contestant pool had been narrowed beforehand. And so much easier to vote, as well.
I’ll admit – I was excited when I first heard about the contest. And yes, I am a little bummed about how things turned out. But now, I realize that is not necessarily such a bad thing. I mean, I do have the $19.99 to make my own.

So…what do you think…May?
© 2007 All Rights Reserved.

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

A Theory That is Full of Holes

In RL, I tend to go for conservative looking men. Men who look employable. By the IRS.

Occasionally, I’ll get into a wild mood and go for an NSP - Near Sighted Pirate….goatee plus glasses. Simple girl, simple needs.

But in SL, men have done me a favor. They are exploring the body modifications of their dreams. And it is really working for me. Thanks, guys!

Before SL, I didn’t even know I liked tattoos. Or male nipple piercings. Or lip rings. One fantastic male avatar I know even has his cock tattooed. (His little Second Life buddies must have gotten him really drunk for that.)

Is it getting hot in here?

SL is full of things that people might not do in person. I love that. So many barriers exist in RL to doing exactly as you please to express yourself. For instance, as soon as I can install my SL kitty properly (yea...I had to buy one), I might get that pierced, too. But, I wouldn't do it in real life because of airport metal detectors.

It is surprisingly easy to explore and imagine enjoying these accessories. It helps that SL men have never denied me when I've suggested that they should take off their shirts. Or pants. For research purposes, of course.

One of the gorgeous canvases of Second Life.

If I am exposed to the holey and painted men of Second Life long enough, I just might start to go for this stuff in real life. SL just might make me crave a "bad boy".

As long as he can still get an auditing job.

© 2007 All Rights Reserved.

Sunday, September 16, 2007

Have a Good Cry

What girl doesn’t find the need to inject a little drama into life every once in a while? And when you do, it helps if you can turn on the waterworks like the protagonist in a Latin American telenovela. So, I was delighted to discover a….. FREE tear making tool! Omigawd! Omigawd!

What do you mean, you won't raise my Linden $ buying limits?
I found them at a little shop called Vertically Challenged, which for the moment is located at Tanglewood (163, 210, 23). They are just to the left of the door as you enter, on a poster on the wall. The shop does have a rather odd mix of products. But, hey, if you are in the market for a giant swan shaped boat, this is the place for you.
I never would have found this shop but I was hunting for sneakers and, for the life of me, could not teleport to the Adidas store. More about shopping frustrations in a later post.
Have fun with the tears and try to resist using them to get people to buy you jewelry.
© 2007 All Rights Reserved.

Saturday, September 15, 2007

It's Time to Change....

When SL Voice became an active feature I was reluctant to try it because it seemed like I’d be bringing too much RL into the game. And frankly, my RL boyfriend has forbidden it…oops. But I caved in. Mostly to prove to doubting SL men that a girl named Tym didn’t possess an Adam's apple, a twig and a couple of berries.
Even before hearing them speak, I had an idea in my mind of how each of my SL boyfriends would sound. The voice I have in my imagination is perfectly crafted to match each avatar and the personality I have gleaned from our instant messaging. (And happily, most of my SL boyfriends have delighted me with their RL voices.)
I was so excited for my first voice connection. It was with a suave, very masculine avatar….who had broad shoulders, a perpetual five-o’clock shadow and a macho swagger. He had the big, calloused hands of someone who works hard in the Sand Box all day. He had spoken of sexual conquest after sexual conquest and stood 9 feet tall. I set my voice controls to active and closed my eyes, waiting for a deep, husky voice to greet me….
And like the scratch of a needle on a record….

I was instantly jolted out of my pre-cyber fog. Damn, damn, damn.

I cannot begin to describe my disappointment as my first SL Voice chat continued. There was no sex in the voice I heard. Hell, there was barely any testosterone.

I will admit to being a bit of a voice snob. I have a smooth feminine one with no regional accent. People respond well to it. But I know it is only because of luck, genes, and growing up in Colorado.

So, I’ll try to be patient. It isn’t his fault. He is nice enough and even invites me over for tiny prim dinners that he has “cooked.” Sigh. Perhaps his voice will grow on me --in the same way an average looking man in RL becomes incredibly handsome to you when you fall in love with them.

Until then, I will have to insist that any less than macho-voiced SLovers only whisper to me. And take up smoking.

© 2007 All Rights Reserved.

Friday, September 14, 2007

Slinky-butt and the rest of the men of SL....

When you are wandering around SL, shopping, clubbing, exploring, etc. and you come across male avatars - assuming you are not immediately greeted by a giant prim penis - you will discover a Whitman's Sampler of amazing men. (And yes, I may bite each a little just to find out what is inside.)

The cutest box of SL chocolates ever...courtesy of f00 Barbosa

What strikes me most is how obvious, how strong, how real the men behind the avatars are. This is fascinating and so exciting to me. (Because I am gobsmacked by the force of the people behind the avs, I find it incredibly frustrating that so many of them do not believe that I am a woman in real life. Do they not sense my femininity like I sense them?)

Anyway, I am delighted (?) to report that the men of SL are having quite a lovely time. They are happily boinking every av that moves and some that don't. They are collecting girlfriends like my av collects shoes. And they are damn proud of it. They won't shut up about it, really. [Shhhhh! Just sssshhhhhhhhh!!! This is supposed to be a fantasy! My fantasy...the one in which every man wants me and only me.]

Another thing that delights the men (just as much as it delights me) is that they can have their fantasy bodies - the Greek god physiques, chiseled jaw lines, perfectly trimmed beards, private parts like zoo animals, full heads of hair, etc. Unfortunately, they also all feel the need to be 8 feet tall. (Darlings, don't you know this makes the sex pose balls I bought so very awkward to use?)

I have a very strong feeling that first tool the SL men learn to use after their Xcite! penises is the snapshot camera function. There must be umpteen thousand upskirt photo textures of me and other SL women floating around. Disturbingly, several times I have found myself in a romantic situation and suddenly I'll hear the *click*whir* of a camera being used. Or I'll be walking around a BDSM club (looking sooooo hot, if I do say so myself!) and I'll hear cameras flashing. Hey!! At least ask me, my loves, I am not shy. The ones who ask get A.M.A.Z.I.N.G. poses and less clothing. Just keep that in mind.

One area of frustration for men must be finding good clothing. This must be why my boyfriends all wear the same outfits all the one, who manages to slip on a tux when we go dancing. I may have to start a Second Life laundry company for them. Imagine hundreds of adorable male avs standing around in their underwear waiting for the dryer to finish. Yum.

Really, I have met men with delightful senses of humor, clever minds, eagerness, enthusiasm and amazingly sexy accents. Men who build giant prim Slinkys and wear them like tails. Men who make humming birds fly around us and pet dolphins dance as we picnic. Men who cum butterflies. I wish I could keep them all. *I* would at least know to shut up about them.

© 2007 All Rights Reserved.

My Lucid Dream....

As a relative newbie to Second Life (measured in billing days not hours spent online playing in, I wanted to share my thoughts, experiences, etc. Even if only to help me examine them myself.

I first learned about SL reading a magazine during a business trip. The concept is so fascinating...a whole world where you can be anyone you want and do nearly anything you like, make anything you imagine, interact with people from around the world, and control the sun. My creative side drooled. You can fly - like in my dreams - and this imparts a strange lucid dream effect to Second Life.

The experience has been the point of scaring myself at first. I spent two weekend nights up until 5 am creating my Avatar and exploring. That is not like me. I am a wuss about sleep - usually nodding off just after 9 pm. (But up at 5 for the gym and/or coffee.) And my jeans are falling off of me - I have been forgetting to eat and I have lost weight. This is a taste of what addiction must feel like. (Lately though, I have been making myself take better care - getting sleep, taking breaks, going to the gym. So no worries.)

I sort of have an addictive personality to begin with - when I get excited about something I have to know everything about it. I research, read books, seek out articles, scour the web for information, etc. LOL, my obsessiveness is why, within a relatively short period in SL time, I had a quite beautiful avatar, a lovely collection of free clothing and several SL boyfriends.

I am not yet a month old. I am so excited about what comes next. Someone showed me how to build simple objects. Another person is building me a champagne glass shaped bath tub. I have been offered modeling jobs. I have my first SL condo. I find myself SLinfatuated - crushing hard on my German, British, Brazilian and American boyfriends.

I am, so far, reluctant to tell my RL friends about SL....they already tease me about being a bit of a nerd...playing online games is just begging for more teasing. But I may have to, as they keep asking what is taking up so much of my time.

I hope this blog is interesting to read. I hope that I can give help to other newbies. I hope it enhances not just my SL but my RL, too. And I hope I can resume getting 8 hours of sleep each night again soon...LOL.

© 2007 All Rights Reserved.


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