Crack is Whack

Recently I saw this post over at Linden Lifestyles about the issue of EMS – Exposed Midriff Syndrome. Personally, I don't get it. I love exposing my tummy in SL.

However, all is not well with the fit of my clothing. I suffer from ECS – Exposed Crack Syndrome, which is, arguably, a more nefarious condition.

You see, I have noticed that the majority of my skirts, shorts and pants in SL are cut to show buttock cleavage. I think that even if I bought a Second Life nun’s habit, it might show butt cleavage. I do not know why.

I have taken it upon myself over the last few months to do an extensive observational study of male Avatar’s behinds, but I have not seen any bare derrière. (You are very welcome. Someone had to do it.)

Shocking photo of bear derrière.

This means that nearly every time I wear underwear (ok, ok - which I will admit does not happen very often in SL) it shows over my waist band. Do I have an especially tall avatar? Nope. She is 5’8” – a relative shorty. But, I swear, even if I bought a SL nun’s habit it would be cut to show butt cleavage.

In Real Life, I hated the buttock-showing-low-cut jean trend because it seemed so crass. I don't like my undies to show in RL or SL because I feel like I am trying to dress like a sleazy teenaged Britney Spears wannabe. I have no idea how people’s clothing was not constantly in a heap around their feet.

Is this still the trend? I supposed that there is a slight possibility (which I refuse to entertain seriously) that my Real Life self is so hopelessly out of touch with what is in style now that I will soon find myself wearing stir-up pants and a beehive hairstyle to work.

And even if it does turn out that I had better renew my subscription to Elle before I face taunting by junior HS aged children for the way I dress, I am stubbornly against the low cut trend – even in Second Life.

Having ECS makes me squeamish. I am always braced for people to start throwing items in there (trash, spare Linden coins, gum wrappers, etc.) as though they are trying to make a basket. ECS causes me to walk around the grid in a very anxious state - with my buttocks clenched and eyes darting around looking for projectiles. This is not an attractive look and may be limiting my Second Life dating opportunities.

This is the face of an ECS sufferer.

To be perfectly honest – my avatar has a GREAT ass (as do most avatars, of course). But it isn’t what I want to display all of the time. I have fiddled with my shape as much as I dare to correct this. I even set my rump to a ridiculous 10 in “edit appearance” mode and double checked to see if my avatar’s behind was the trouble. Nope. Still having a crack epidemic. I tried to adjust the waists of modifiable items higher. No luck – since most were already set at 100.

When I can, I try to make higher waist undie layer items to wear in order to bridge the gap. But that strategy doesn’t work if the pant or skirt is on the underpants layer already or has a difficult to match texture, belt or detailed waist band

Sigh….so, if you see me on the grid and the moon is out even though you have set the time of day to noon, please know that I at least thought about fixing it. And then just enjoy the show.

Extreme cuteness. Courtesy of Escapade Zoo & Safari.

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