Who's Your Daddy?

Once, if you wanted RP being a parent in SL, you could buy yourself a simple prim baby. They sat there looking cute ….well…they sat there. They were easy to leave home (or even stuck in your inventory) without guilt. You could just sprinkle some Cheerios around them, hand them a bottle of milk and not give it a second thought. For busy Second Life parents-on-the-go who just wanted a bit of playing house, these tots were just fine.

BEFORE: This is a picture of me with a typical homemade prim baby. As you can see, I am miserable. Jerremy made that baby, but he keeps denying it, since he says it looks nothing like him and more like I had an affair with a Muppet. (OMG - this is so going to be my new profile picture.)

But, in case you have missed the latest development, a brand new, sophisticated version of the run-of-the-mill prim baby has been unleashed onto the grid. This new baby is sculpted and scripted and adorable – in a freaky, photo-sourced kind of way.

They are sold by a SL company that makes scripted pets. I am afraid to say the name since all of the signs in the store make it seem as though they’ll sic a lawyer on me in a heartbeat…but, ummm, it rhymes with "Scooby." Anyhoo, I went to their shop and watched the babies crawl around. (I tried to ride one but it didn’t work.) They certainly are cute - like a puppy or kitten or the guy vampire in Twilight. $5000L cute, though. So, take your pick - 5 pairs of toe-filled Stiletto Moody goodness or one baby.

The way the infants look and move make them rather fascinating to a lot of SL women* – even women who do not particularly like real life babies. And that means that this newfangled baby could potentially create an entire population of SLingle mothers** in SL - a huge SLocial trend that the Lindens never saw coming!

How will they find competent daycare in SL? Unlike the old babies, the new ones look like they might get into some trouble if left to their own devices. I am sure they are scripted to put their fingers into light sockets and try to eat out of the dog bowl. They are going to need some sort of supervision.

The solution? The Prim Daddy!

AFTER: Here, Jerremy plays the part of a Prim Daddy so that you can get an idea of what the product might be like and how one might enhance your SLife. I did not want to spend $5k for a sculpted prim baby just to take the photo.....so this is a simulation of one.

Just like a sculpted prim baby, a Prim Daddy would cost $5,000L. He would always have both hands free for holding the baby and a diaper bag, so that you can hang onto your Armidi purse and keep using your bending-over-and wiggling-your-bottom AO. The Prim Daddy would be scripted to follow you, too. Or you could just leave him at home with the baby while you did the latest hunt or went out clubbing.

Special plugs-ins would be available that would make him say helpful things like - "No, you stay in bed, I'll go see what the baby needs," "It's my turn to change a diaper!" and "Enjoy your girls' night out - the two of us will be fine!"

Wow, now my mind is reeling with the possibilities for additional plug-ins for a Prim Daddy - even plug-ins that have nothing to do with the baby. I think "How would you like a foot massage, Sweetheart?" or "Did you do something different with your hair? You look great!" plug-ins would be best sellers. So, if you’ll excuse me, I need to IM the “Scooby” people right away! I want in on some of the profits!

Notes to keep me out of trouble with people:

* I am sure they are fascinating to some men as well, but I only wrote about women in this post because that is who I have spoken to and heard buzzing about the baby.

** I have nothing but admiration for single parents – who valiantly take on a two person job. I am only addressing the Second Life day care issue here.