Thursday, April 30, 2009

SLwine Flu - An Ounce of Prevention

They say the best way to keep from getting sick in general and lessening the risk of SLwine Flu in particular is to wash your hands thoroughly and often. So, I am thinking about doing a whirlwind tour of restrooms in Second Life so that you will know the best places to wash up.

This is the ridiculously cramped women's washroom near the Hotel Dare.
Oddly, the co-ed shower area was gigantic. Hmmmmm.....

(I'll put in a SLURL when I get in world later.)

I'm considering doing this bathroom/hand washing travel guide, despite the fact that the last time I was a SLwine, I was not only adorable - I had a darn good time!:

What? Me worry?
This is my Piggy Tiny self rocking out at the recent wedding anniversary party for my friends Night Singh and Margo Sciarri (the lovely bird and Wooley Mammoth in the upper corner).


Now, I've heard that some of the public bathrooms in SL can be pretty seedy, so wish me luck!

If you know of any restrooms that I should be sure to include, IM me or leave me a comment. (OH!! Or better yet - send me pictures of your avatar washing their hands! Email them to me or pass them to me in-world along with your avatar name and a SLURL! I'll post them here!)

Stay well, Everyone!

Monday, April 27, 2009

Wild Pussy - A True Story

The place: Starting Point New Resident Dormitory, Moodle, Second Life
The time:
07:03:00 PM SLT

07:03:00 Tymmerie Thorne arrives at Starting Point to check prims and say hello to residents.

07:05:00 Ms. Thorne notices a large number of prims on a parcel of land that do not belong to anyone she knows.

07:05:30 The stray prims disappear from parcel.

07:05:45 The prims reappear on parcel.

07:06:15 The prims disappear from parcel once more.

07:06:20 She decides to investigate and surveys the area by camera.

07:07:00 A cat trots across the camera view.

07:07:20 The cat jogs by in the other direction.

07:07:40 She realizes that someone has left a scripted cat on the property and it is now roaming around the building and grounds. She assumes that it will be difficult to use land tools to return the cat to its owner because he keeps moving from one parcel to another. Plus, where is the fun in that? She decides to try to catch him.

07:08:00 Ms. Thorne loses sight of the cat. She walks, flies and camera pans in an attempt to find his hiding place. She is occasionally able to locate the cat, only to lose him again moments later.

07:09:00 The cat emerges from a hallway.

07:09:01 She attempts to right click on him and misses.

07:09:02 Ms. Thorne calls her mouse a naughty word.

07:09:03 to 07:12:00 She continues to click and miss over and over again while the cat wanders around the yard and building.

07:12:01 Ms. Thorne’s typist begins to choke on her iced tea from laughing.

07:13:00 She finally manages to click on the cat! Victory!

07:13:02 Ms. Thorne lets out a little scream as she realizes that she has somehow accidentally clicked ‘Ride’ instead of 'Edit' and is now sitting on the cat. No victory.

07:13:08 She stands up to get off of the cat and he heads toward the pool area.

07:13:15 She tries to anticipate his path and races down ahead of him. The cat goes in and out of camera view as she pans to find him.

07:13:30 There is a loud splashing sound.

07:13:31 Ms. Thorne hits the bottom of the pool.

07:13:35 Her typist can no longer breathe or speak from laughing and slides out of her chair.

Epilogue: The cat was eventually found and returned safely to his owner. At the time of his return, several eye witnesses stated that he was smiling.

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Two Thursday Happies

Hi. I have a happy for today. But, I had to think long and hard about what kind of pictures to use to illustrate my happy. One one hand, I have no qualms about showing my happies off to people. On the other hand, I am try so damned hard to be a lady. Perhaps I should be saving my happies for my husband?

You see, today's happies are my SL breasts!

I thought I would have quite a challenge illustrating this blog post.
However, luck was on my side! I was wandering by a lucky chair the other day and it happened to turn to a "T" and, much to my extreme surprise, I won this t-shirt:


Since I keep them at a full medium-ish size, I am not sure if I should be wearing the t-shirt ironically or not. I will worry about this for days, you know. And how did the chair decide to give me *that* t-shirt? Was the chair judging me? Gasp! What a catty, beyotchy Lucky Chair!

Of course, after taking this picture, I happened to notice that the back of the shirt says "...when you have an ass that looks this good." So, now I feel bad being angry at the chair because it obviously sees a lot of bottoms and I suppose that I should be flattered. Sorry, Lucky Chair.

I like my SL breasts because I can change their size at will and do not have to wear complicated undergarments or double stick tape to contain them when I wear something revealing. Clothes in SL are invariably flattering to them. Also, my husband, Jerremy, seems to have a certain fondness for them.

Anyhoo, I hope all of you enjoy your SL breasts, too. Men included. Heck, go wild today, everyone! Let's all admire each others'. No one look into anyone's eyes when talking to each other today!

I think the virtual world will be a happier place.

Monday, April 20, 2009

Who's Your Daddy?

Once, if you wanted RP being a parent in SL, you could buy yourself a simple prim baby. They sat there looking cute ….well…they sat there. They were easy to leave home (or even stuck in your inventory) without guilt. You could just sprinkle some Cheerios around them, hand them a bottle of milk and not give it a second thought. For busy Second Life parents-on-the-go who just wanted a bit of playing house, these tots were just fine.


BEFORE: This is a picture of me with a typical homemade prim baby. As you can see, I am miserable. Jerremy made that baby, but he keeps denying it, since he says it looks nothing like him and more like I had an affair with a Muppet. (OMG - this is so going to be my new profile picture.)

But, in case you have missed the latest development, a brand new, sophisticated version of the run-of-the-mill prim baby has been unleashed onto the grid. This new baby is sculpted and scripted and adorable – in a freaky, photo-sourced kind of way.

They are sold by a SL company that makes scripted pets. I am afraid to say the name since all of the signs in the store make it seem as though they’ll sic a lawyer on me in a heartbeat…but, ummm, it rhymes with "Scooby." Anyhoo, I went to their shop and watched the babies crawl around. (I tried to ride one but it didn’t work.) They certainly are cute - like a puppy or kitten or the guy vampire in Twilight. $5000L cute, though. So, take your pick - 5 pairs of toe-filled Stiletto Moody goodness or one baby.

The way the infants look and move make them rather fascinating to a lot of SL women* – even women who do not particularly like real life babies. And that means that this newfangled baby could potentially create an entire population of SLingle mothers** in SL - a huge SLocial trend that the Lindens never saw coming!

How will they find competent daycare in SL? Unlike the old babies, the new ones look like they might get into some trouble if left to their own devices. I am sure they are scripted to put their fingers into light sockets and try to eat out of the dog bowl. They are going to need some sort of supervision.

The solution? The Prim Daddy!


AFTER: Here, Jerremy plays the part of a Prim Daddy so that you can get an idea of what the product might be like and how one might enhance your SLife. I did not want to spend $5k for a sculpted prim baby just to take the photo.....so this is a simulation of one.

Just like a sculpted prim baby, a Prim Daddy would cost $5,000L. He would always have both hands free for holding the baby and a diaper bag, so that you can hang onto your Armidi purse and keep using your bending-over-and wiggling-your-bottom AO. The Prim Daddy would be scripted to follow you, too. Or you could just leave him at home with the baby while you did the latest hunt or went out clubbing.

Special plugs-ins would be available that would make him say helpful things like - "No, you stay in bed, I'll go see what the baby needs," "It's my turn to change a diaper!" and "Enjoy your girls' night out - the two of us will be fine!"

Wow, now my mind is reeling with the possibilities for additional plug-ins for a Prim Daddy - even plug-ins that have nothing to do with the baby. I think "How would you like a foot massage, Sweetheart?" or "Did you do something different with your hair? You look great!" plug-ins would be best sellers. So, if you’ll excuse me, I need to IM the “Scooby” people right away! I want in on some of the profits!



Notes to keep me out of trouble with people:

* I am sure they are fascinating to some men as well, but I only wrote about women in this post because that is who I have spoken to and heard buzzing about the baby.

** I have nothing but admiration for single parents – who valiantly take on a two person job. I am only addressing the Second Life day care issue here.

Thursday, April 9, 2009

Thursday Happy: SLelebrating Holidays

Hmmmm, this holiday activity is way too close to doing
actual cooking. I'd better to lie down for a while first.

I seem to be falling into a pattern of doing an every-other-week Thursday "Happy" post.
We'll just pretend that my Happies (OMG...that is so not a word.) have two-week staying power: Tym's Thursday Happies - Now with 2X more joy! Absorbs tears like a sponge! Specially formulated to remove emo sadness without dulling colors! Testimonial: "WOW! It's been 12 days since I thought of this Happy and....snifffffff!!!!!....it still makes me smile!"

Anyhoo, this week's Happy is....Celebrating Holidays in SL!

I adore holidays in RL, so with SL I get to celebrate them twice. Also, it is significantly easier to hang and store decorations in SL. And I take a perverse pleasure in finding holiday items in SL. See below:

This is the coffee table at Starting Point with some of my Easter discoveries on it. I almost wet myself when I found that box of Peeps. In RL? Eating one of those dyed eggs (which have been sitting out for over 3 weeks now) would put you into the hospital. In SL? Munch away- they are as fresh as the day the prim chicken laid them. (OMG - I have to put out a salt shaker! /me dashes to my inventory folder to get one.)

But it isn't just the decorations that make me giddy. I love holiday activities in SL, too. I enjoy shopping for prim food, decor and gifts. I adore that holidays are ready made excuses for parties, prize hunts & contests. And I treasure the opportunities to dress up - like wearing antlers all December long or covering myself in butter for National Popcorn Day (January 19th).

I did refrain from putting on any bunny attire this Easter, except for one hour spent with ears and a tail. I added those accessories when I went with Jerremy to an info hub to spread the word about Starting Point. He dressed as a bear. (It is difficult to keep him out of costumes, really.)

Now if you will excuse me, I have to start making plans for National Sea Monkey Day. It falls on a Saturday this year (May 16), so I need to do something special.

Monday, April 6, 2009

Perfection? Meh.


AN ODE TO MY AVATAR TOES

Dear avatar toes - how I cherish thee.

You may not be perfect, but you’re just fine for me.


You’re tiny and wrinkled like a new born tyke.

And just like snowflakes, no two pairs are alike.


I don’t think that you’re ugly. You’re sort of adorable.

But to hear people talking, you’d think that you’re horrible.


I won’t trade you in for a shiny prim pair!

(Unlike I did for my eyes and my hair.)


In a world where everything’s rezzing and gray,

I’m not sure how anyone sees you anyway.


Do prim toes curl while you’re sharing a pose ball kiss?

If they didn’t, I think it’d be something I’d miss.


Do prim toes go to market? Do they run “Wee!” back home?

Are they loved enough for someone to write them a poem?


You might say I have too much time to sit and to think

Just because I have wondered if prim feet can stink.

:-P



*** If you happen to like sculpted prim feet, please see the humor in this and do not take offense.

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Horny Homeless

I really hope Lysol is effective on pixel germs.

I have had it up to here with the horny homeless in Second Life.

Today, two people invaded a Starting Point resident's private room and were caught having sex on her bed. Our resident was upset, to say the least. The two trespassers would not stop what they were doing or leave when she asked. And I felt terrible that I could not get in-world to help.

It is bad enough that this sort of thing has happened before in Jerremy's and my home. It has happened in the apartments we are building and furnishing. And it recently happened (very weirdly) at the villas we are building.

Here is what happened at the villas: I noticed a naked man, with an erection and surrounded by pose balls, standing in the penthouse. After checking to make sure it wasn't Jerremy (I AM JUST KIDDING!), I told him to leave. He demanded that I wait a minute.
Oh, really? Eject! Ban! Then, he had the nerve to call me a See You Next Tuesday* because I didn't let him "finish." (Dear God, I hope that did not mean what I think it does.) What really amuses me is that he went on and on in IM about how if he knew I was going to be, "such a bitch about it," he would not have used our villas in the first place. Ummm....excuse me? Do me a favor - next time, assume I am going to be a bitch and find somewhere else for your nastiness. (Yes, I waited to mute him. Sometimes it is fun to "poke the crazy," if you know what I mean.)

Now, I am no prude. Nor am I naive. I know where prim babies come from! It isn't like there aren't a gazillion legitimate places in SL to have sex. It is not necessary to commit a B&E to get nookie. In fact, let's have a little brainstorming session and list places you can have sex if you do not have a place of your own, shall we?:
  • Free sex clubs/rooms (There must be 100,00 of these in SL.)
  • The Bedrock sim (I was as surprised as you are. Sigh.)
  • Hotels
  • Rent-by-the-hour Fantasy Suites
  • Fetish clubs
Interestingly, neither my home nor Starting Point appear in the list. And look at that - no one else's homes/apartments/skyboxes are on the list either.

"So, are we gonna do it or what?"
(I never meant to have two posts with caveman themed pictures in a row. We were scouting photo locations for my last post - the Time Traveler challenge - when I took this one. There are a lot of, ummm, hidden rooms and things here in Bedrock.)


Alicia Chenaux wrote about this topic very eloquently earlier this week when she found squatters living on her island.

Ironically, the two trespassers at Starting Point are newbies (~ 2 months old): they would have eligible to move into their own private rooms, where they could have all of the sex they wanted.

Now, if you will excuse me, I have some decontamination to do at the Starting Point.


*Slang for the c-word. I didn't want to quote him directly.
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