Inside the Coop: A Special Investigative Report

Recently the blogosphere has been atwitter with foul news...oops, I mean fowl news.

It seems that hordes of Second Lifers have built farms and have taken up raising Sion brand chickens - sophisticated prim animals that mate, lay eggs, IM the owner when they are hungry, etc. I saw the craze as an interesting phenomenon to observe and nothing more. But then, I received an IM from one of the actual birds. He had a scoop for me and told me it would blow the Sion fad wide open. He asked me to call him Esteban. I agreed to meet him in his pen the following day. When I got there, he was with a friend he called Lisa. The following is a transcript of the conversation.

Me: So, what did you want to tell me?

Esteban: Not so loud! You know what those roosters over there would do to us if they overheard?

Lisa: Yes! They are SIC - Sion Inner Core.

Esteban: [nods] The guy? Sion? He promised them that he would script them the ability to fly in exchange for their loyalty.

Me: He can do that? I mean, real chi...

Lisa: You don't know Sion! He is planning something big.

Esteban: It starts with chicken owners having to buy the food, toys, carriers, medical kits, etc. But soon there will be chicken fashion, chicken orthodontia, chicken psychotherapy...

Lisa: All of these things cost plenty! And they facilitate the transfer of massive amounts of Lindens to Sion himself. Slowly, he is shifting the SLeconomy to one based on...chicken feed!

Me: What?

Esteban: Shhhhhhhh!! Yes! A prim grain based economy!! Everything will be under Sion's control!

Me: How? Does Sion have a corner on chicken feed?

Esteban: [whispers] Sion has figured out a way to harvest and store the grain grown in...in... the LL cornfield!

Me: The one they use as a time out corner to punish griefers and such? THE cornfield?

Esteban: Do I stutter? Yes!!!

Me: You're a cranky little guy, Esteban.

Esteban: You would be too if all you had to eat was stale chicken feed. Which reminds me, I gotta send an IM...

Lisa: It doesn't stop there. Sion has other plans.

Esteban: Tell her! Tell Her!

Lisa: I am trying to! BWWWWOOOOOOOOCKKKKKK!!!!!!

Esteban: Oh! An egg! Oh, Honey!

Me: Congratulations. Anyhoo...What other plans?

Lisa: Chickens on Zindra.

Me: What? That's crazy!! The Lindens will never stand for chickens on the new adult continent! No offense, but prim chicken droppings are heck to clean off of glowy prims.

Esteban: The Lindens won't have any choice. By that point, they'll be accepting corn for tier payments. And if Linden Lab only earns chicken feed...

Me: They'll only be able to employ....CHICKENS!!!!!!!!!

Esteban & Lisa in unison: YES!! Sion will be in control of Linden Lab!

Me: ZOMG! This is big!

Lisa: We told you!

Esteban: BBWWWWWOOOOOOOKKKKKK!!!!

Me & Lisa in unison: Egg?

Esteban: No! I'm a rooster! I think it was something I ate.

I left the farm wondering what to do with this information. Should I tell M? Should I tell Torley? And what will become of the chicken farmers?? And why do I have a sudden craving for barbeque?


**All names have been changed in order to protect the identities of the chickens.
** A big thank you goes to Meara Deschanel for letting me use her chicken coops for pictures.

© 2009 All Rights Reserved.

Do Sex Toasters Cause Alien Babies?

Nope. And it wasn't the sex microwave either.

I won a baby alien at SL6B. Actually, I won several prizes including a cyborg skin, a building, jewelry and a clown-air-canister-thing-a-ma-bob-that-you-see-at-carnivals that gives out balloons.

You see, they have this area called The Paradox and they are having an alien hunt (The Dallier's Hope Mystery) there. Each time you succeed in catching an alien you win a prize. Use the landmark to teleport to The Cloning Station at The Paradox - which, incidentally, is a GREAT place to start your explorations of SM6B since it has TPs to many of the attractions. Then, fly down to the ground level (You will only be about 200 m up.) You will start to see green aliens with jet packs on. Sometimes there are a lot to chase down, sometimes you will have to wait for one to appear. Try to get close to them since apparently you have to be within 10 meters of the aliens to get the prizes. Left click on them to catch them and win.

I must have clicked on 100 aliens in my first attempt to win a prize, but I was right clicking and selecting "CATCH!" from the pie menu. Apparently, that is the wrong way. LEFT click and be within 10 meters. You heard it here.

I have to get going now. I must attend to my alien baby - changing his diaper and convincing him to go to trade school rather than a 4-year college when he grows up. Not sure how I will explain him to Jerremy either. Hmmmmmm...

© 2009 All Rights Reserved.

I hope they have insurance...

Remember when I told you in my last post that the tram at SL6B (Second Life's 6th Birthday Celebration) had fallen of the track, leaving me hanging precariously underneath? Well, I returned today and the first car I got into skidded off the track:

And the second got upended:

They have no seat belts or air bags, you know. This was not even at a sim crossing! Luckily, the car managed to stay balanced long enough for me to turn up my PC settings in order to grab a decent picture - whew!

I'm going back to SL6B tonight - GULP! I just hope my SLuck does not run out!

© 2009 All Rights Reserved.

SL6B: My Sincerest Apologies...

Ahem. I am taking this moment to apologize profusely to the good people of Second Life. You see, I sort of accidentally put my foot into your birthday cake. I was just trying to get a good picture of it. I am terribly sorry. I would suggest that if you would like to eat some of its chocolaty minty goodness that you start from *that* side. I guess I'll just take *this* side of the cake home with me. I hope that this does not ruin the party.

Anyhoo. Obviously, I visited the SL6B (Second Life Sixth Birthday) celebration sims. After a quick exploration of them I am salivating to go back and see more.

One thing that I would suggest if you go is to take the roughly 30 minute shuttle tour which takes you past all of the sims. I have to admit to being slightly 1) rushed and 2) dumb. I could not find the central train station. I heard that there was a shuttle tour from one of the organizers, flew around until I saw a train and then jumped on at one of the minor stops. This method works, actually, since I did end up getting the full tour. [Note: There is a list of event starting points and main attractions here.]

The first time I hopped onto the train, it fell off the track and my little car ended up stuck and hanging upside down underneath the track. I could have been the first SL6B casualty! It's true.

Now, because it drives me insane when people show me pictures of their vacations without themselves in the pictures, I will nearly always show you pics of my explorations with me standing front and center - possibly blocking interesting items - just to prove I was there. (Why do people do this with vacation pictures, BTW? They could get the same picture on postcard. Prove to me that you actually did summit Everest by appearing in the photo at the top, for cripes sake.)

There is a lot that I'd still like to explore at SL6B. I definitely have to go back... ...if only to smooth over the frosting on *that* side of the cake.

One of my stops was the Linden exhibit which featured....guess what?
Click this guy's foot and get your own SL6B bear.

I went into the LL exhibit and found some pics of Lindens along with the bears.
I decided to take a pic with M's pic.

© 2009 All Rights Reserved.

Between My Pixel Ears

If you need to pick up a new brain, they have a nice set of sculpted ones at Bare Rose. (I am not sure why anyone would need them in a variety of beautiful pastel colors, though. Maybe they are different flavors? Maybe this is a zombie snack pack?)

So, what is left in my brain after a full week of sharing? Just some crumbs. Lint. Gum wrapper. Let's take a look:

• That is it. I am starting a new business: Tymmerie's Poultry Prophylactics. I'm gonna get in on the gravy train the Sion Chicken guy set up. If he can sell toys for chickens, I can sell rooster condoms.

• If the chicken birth control thing doesn't work out, I want to start a professional wedding guest business in Second Life. You could hire my staff to attend your wedding if you wanted to make sure the place was full or you could hire us to attend a wedding that you were invited to but cannot attend because of time zones or your aversion to SLove (you sad, sad cynic, you).

• And, if the wedding guest thing doesn't work out I can help owners of bashful chickens and less than randy roosters with my other business idea - Tymmerie's Poultry Pr0n. I'll have to get a place on Zindra for this I think.

• SPACE JUNK! The SL sky is a pig sty! While I was searching the sky above our sim for some things that have gone missing (like the left side of my house), I was astonished to find prim cubes, uprooted trees, a couple of nuclear missiles, half finished building platforms, etc. floating around above other people's sims. It amazes me that more people don't check for space junk. So many wasted prims!

• I find it so amazing that if I had never responded to a girl in a texture shop who was trying to find out where she could buy a wall, I might never have started along the course of events that led me to meet Jerremy. That's the Butterfly Effect story for my SLife.

• I pride myself on a lean and mean inventory. Sometimes LL helps me with this by losing my stuff. My inventory is a bit too large for my comfort at the moment. I may gather all of my transferable stuff and just start passing it to random strangers. Like some reverse pick pocket.

• Just what sort of bribe can I offer shoe makers who insist on putting feet inside of them to sell them with a no foot option, too?

• I have never had a bigger challenge than finding capri pants in SL. Just plain ol’ capri pants in some summer colors. Why can I find a chia pet, but not pants?

• Quite possibly the frustration inducing thing about SL photography is trying to get my eyes to not to cross or not look up so far that it seems like I am under the influence.

• Prim nipples? Yes or no? Discuss.

That's it.

This is my last in my series of posts for the Big Bad Blogger Challenge '09 (BBBC). Blogging every day for a full week wasn't easy, but I am proud to say that I did it. God bless those who have the time and energy to post every day on a regular basis - I bow down to you. Those who post daily, or at least regularly, have my undying affection, since it gives me lots to read and pretty pictures to look at - THANK YOU!! Many thanks to Alicia Chenaux for organizing the BBBC '09!

© 2009 All Rights Reserved.

Freaky Friday

SL can be kind of surreal.

So I guess I can't be too shocked that half of our house is gone. Yes. And I swear that this time, I did not delete it accidentally. I was nowhere near the scene of the crime...or whatever the hey happened to it.

I kept thinking it just wasn't rezzing. But then Jerremy came in-world and it was missing for him, too. Our bedroom, bathroom, media room and Jerremy's office are now open air. So guess what I get to do this weekend? Yup, sit on a prim and search high and low to see if it is anywhere nearby. Jerremy is going to check his Lost & Found folder in case it gets returned. Jerremy felt bad that he wasn't able to fix it right away, but I assured him that the forecast called for sunshine...forever.

That surrealism fit in perfectly with what we had already planned to do this week - explore Enchantment Island. There are a total of 12 attractions there, including two bubble rides. We actually visited four places at Enchantment Island - The Great Marine Adventure & Treasure Hunt, the Museum of Amazing Illusions, the Museum of Surrealism, and the 1000 meter high Mega Bubble Mania Ride.

I only got a few pictures of our explorations. The builds are really quite clever. I just love places like this - that show the potential of what can be imagined in our virtual world. I tried soooooo hard to get pictures on a the bubble ride, but I gave up. If you get close enough to see your avatar properly, you can't see the amazing build your bubble bounces around on. So just take my word for it - if you do nothing else, visit the bubble rides.

See? Jerremy and I do other things besides make toast. ( <== I have decided that, henceforth, this will be my new euphemism for SLex!) Happy Friday!!

Jerremy, as a giant spider at the Museum of Illusions.

Perched on a replica of a Salvidor Dali's sculpture of Mae West's lips at the Museum of Surrealism.

© 2009 All Rights Reserved.

Bloggers' Choice! Thursday Happy

Today's Big Bad Blogger Challenge assignment for the day is "Blogger's Choice". Oh no! Do you know what happens when I am left to my own devices?

I guess my choice today will be a Thursday happy. My typist helped me think this over while she drove to work today. (She really needs to pay more attention to the road.) My Thursday Happy is...dressing up!!

I was thinking of this because I got to dress up in a rave outfit last night for a party. And I LOVED my outfit. I adore putting together a unique costume or outfit. Too much. I will do nearly anything to get an invitation to a costume party.

It is really important to me that my outfit is unique so if I need a costume, I will buy 2 or 3 of them and then mix and match the pieces, throwing in some items I already own and maybe a new accessory or two. That is what I did yesterday. Now that may cost up to a grand or more but OMG then I end up with an outfit I love as much as my rave outfit. I want this in RL.:


Jerremy and I are a good match because he also loves to dress up.


Now, I mentioned on Plurk today that I liked the rave outfit so much that I had gotten into the mood to take some naughty pictures of myself with some of it on. I wasn't sure if I should share but....oh, what the heck! Here is one specially edited to be SFW.:


While I am here, I will post a few pictures from the rave last night. Alicia Chenaux, who hosted and DJd, did the most amazing job of decorating the party area. It blew me away. Enjoy!

Noelyci Ingmann and Alicia Chenaux

© 2009 All Rights Reserved.

SLeggo My Eggo

Recently, a dear friend of ours gave Jerremy and me a present – a sex toaster. This appliance was rather intriguing to us. We don’t have any animations or “functional” furniture in the kitchen. Honestly. Plus, I was in the mood…for a snack. We opened the box and set the shiny mental appliance on the counter and got ready for a test drive!

Jerremy: OK. I have the bread.

Tymmerie: You didn’t get whole wheat?

J: I like this kind.

T: [glances at label] No fiber.

J: We aren’t going to eat the bread.

T: No?

J: No – it is just for effect. Timing. Stamina. Like….can we go for a whole loaf or will I wear you out after a few slices.

T: Why do I have jelly, then?

J: Beats me. OK! Balls rezzed!

T: This seems odd.

J: No odder than any other sex furniture.

T: I am afraid of falling off of the counter. Can we put the toaster on the floor?

J: Well, that would just be silly. No one makes toast on the floor.

T: Hmmmm…well, OK. Here is the instruction book.

J: Wow – who drew that diagram? You’d think they had never seen a…

T: How will I be able to tell if it is turned on?

J: It’ll get warm and start to glow. Now, does this go in here or here?

T: Here - never put anything in there.

J: Are you sure?

T: Positive. Ok, next, the instructions say to hold this and twist it to the right.

J: Let me put this in first!

T: Sorry – I’m just excited. [waits] Sweetheart, it doesn’t seem to be heating up.

J: Oh, it is. Go ahead and feel it.

T: Mmmm! That’s nice!

J: Hmmm. It keeps popping up too soon.

T: Let me try to hold it down.

J: Be gentle – we don’t want to break it.

T: I’ve never broken one. You can break one?

J: Trust me on that, Honey. [waits] Babe? Is this supposed to be that color?

T: Pull it out and let me look at it.

J: OMG!! Hot! Oh no! I think we kept it in for too long.

T: I shouldn’t have forced it! Here, let me blow on that.

J: Thanks, Honey. Oh - look what I have! Wanna try *this*?

T: Sure – but, will it fit?

J: Only one way to find out! There! [waits] Mmmmm, that smells good!

T: [nods] I can’t wait to put butter on it!

Hours later, in a smoke filled kitchen, we decided that we loved our new toaster. We are just crossing our fingers that there is no bun in the oven.

Many Thanks go to my husband Jerremy Darwin who co-wrote this with me!

© 2009 All Rights Reserved.

I can operate a camera. Really.

Jerremy and I visited artist Bryn Oh's Immersiva sim yesterday evening. Jerremy is so much fun when exploring - I should rent him out for tours or something. He is up for anything - even exploring extremely abstract art sims. One of our favorite things to do is to try to cam around, find hidden spaces and, if possible, go where we are not really supposed to be. Actually, Bryn Oh must have planned for this behavior because we found a couple of purposefully hidden rooms and tunnels, including a small room with a mother-embryo sculpture and a jellyfish room.

At one point, we were flying around in a fly disabled part of the sim and landed on top of a 'tower'. Jerremy stood on top and the way he was standing reminded me of a Sears catalog ad. It was the perfect pose for a picture! Especially with the beautiful sky and sea behind him. However, either he could not stop blinking or I had the world's worst timing. The four pictures above are only some of the closed eye pics I ended up taking. I have never taken that many closed eyes photos in a row before. I think he may be allergic to art.

I found it odd that every item on the sim (I click on everything.) was named 'object.' I laughed and commented to Jerremy that Bryn Oh's inventory must be a mess. Jerremy pointed to the sim and said that we were looking at her inventory.

Good times.


© 2009 All Rights Reserved.

Hay, now!**

**Yes, I meant to spell "hay" that way. :-P
[This post is about the Big, Bad Blogger Challenge topic of the day: Describe Your Perfect SL Day.]

What? It could happen.

On my perfect SL day, I wake up to the pixel sun shining through the windows. I roll over and give Jerremy a soft kiss. He stirs and we have a quick roll in the hay. I let him go back to sleep. I quickly shower, dress and wander out to the garden to decide what to do that day. Suddenly, I received an IM from Linden Lab - the last parcel of the sim we live on that we do not own has been abandoned. They want to know if we want it. No charge since they aren't going to do anything with it anyway. Fabulous!

Next, I open up the fashion feeds and see the most perfect, beautiful clothing, shoes and hair. I spend the morning shopping. As I sit down to lunch in a little cafe, I learn that someone (wink) has declared me to be a member of the FIC. I giggle and shake my head.

Looking toward the top of my screen I see my Linden balance scrolling higher and higher. How satisfying! That means the chicken birth control script I developed is selling like hotcakes.

After a light prim lunch, I TP back home where Jerremy is building. He asks me to turn on voice. Happy, happy, joy, joy! We have a quick roll in the hay.

I run down to my office/blog HQ and check my laptop. I find a long, beautifully written email apology co-signed by everyone who has ever griefed our sim or Starting Point. I am touched.

Jerremy and I go to the yard and build, landscape and talk. We realize that it is getting late in the afternoon and we have to get ready for the party we are hosting that evening. I need a costume and some food for the buffet. Jerremy decorates the party area while I make a quick shopping trip for a costume and prim food. When I get home, I show Jerremy my costume. He likes it so much that we have another roll in the hay before dinner.

Dinner is a lovely barbeque cooked by Jerremy. Some friends come over to enjoy the meal and pleasant conversation with us. Party time is nearing, so we run upstairs to change into our costumes.

Linden Lab IMs me. They heard we are having a party and will not only have a customer support person on stand by, but they are dedicating every available resource to assure we have no lag. The entertainment arrives. Who knew that DJ AM would be available on such short notice or that he had a SL avatar? Guests start arriving. People admire my buffet. Chat is on fire with witty banter. The party is a great success. Jerremy and I go inside the house, smiling and talking about the party.

Then, we....well, you know.


© 2009 All Rights Reserved.

Let's do this as a top ten list...

I am going to try to do a post every day this week. This is because I am doing the Big Bad Blogger Challenge '09, organized for a second year by the beautiful and talented Alicia Chenaux.

I don't have a post ready for today, so I will use her first topic suggestions:
1) How long have you been a blogger? and 2) How has it enriched your life?

I have blogged since I was a wee avatar just learning to toddle across the grid. There. Question one is done. Now, for number two:

The Top Ten Ways Blogging Has Enriched my SLife:

10. My typist can type up to 20 WPM now.
9. I own a rat, monkey and a cat.
8. I am good enough at PhotoShop now that I can slip someone's photo into an incriminating scene at will. Bwahahahahaha!
7. I can pretend that I am gainfully employed in SL. (And not mooching off of my generous but naive typist.)
6. The blog helped me land an actual, paid writing job. (For SL News Network when it was around.)
5. I never would have visited a sperm bank in SL otherwise.
4. I got *this close* to convincing Hamlet Au to remove his shirt for his "Man Behind the Goatee" interview. (And by *this close* I mean that he laughed heartily and gave me a firm no.)
3. It gives me an excuse to have an adorable little office in SL.
2. It keeps me busy, and therefore, out of trouble.

And, the number 1 way blogging has enriched my life:
1. It made an honest woman out of me. (Really. It did. I landed my husband, Jerremy, with this blog.)

OK - what do you say we all meet back here tomorrow?


© 2009 All Rights Reserved.

/me jumps up and down excitedly.

OMG you guys - I am SLoving SLife. There is just so much good stuff going on. I am going to tell you about two of those things today. (There is party info for the second one so be sure to read that!)

First, I am now the Events Director of the SL Blogger Group. I am really looking forward to this new responsibility. In September, I'll take over the day-to-day operations of the in-world group from Zoe.

When I first started blogging, almost the first thing I did after my first post was to join the SL Blogger group. I have come a long way since hiding shyly behind a plant at my first Blogger Meet-up Party. The only person I even sort of knew was the wonderful Looker Lumet.

I have met some incredible people and had some great fun at group activities. And more than once I have IMd the group in a blind panic because of technical issues with my blog. People were so helpful (even though every other IM was someone trying to be funny - bloggers love to be funny).

What are in my plans for the group?

• Coordinating Blogger Meet-Up Parties!!! - These are a group tradition! Held quarterly, they give everyone a chance to meet in person for some R&R. Watch this space and the SL Blogger NING Networking site for details about the first one! **Hosts are needed - IM or email me if you are interested in doing this!**
  
• Helping the group increase it visibility and membership numbers.
  
• Setting up an in-world group HQ office!! This will be a place for all of us to drop by, hang out, share information, etc.
  
• Supporting and promoting blogger activities and challenges - like the Blogger Mix & Match that Vint Falken and ArminasX Saiman organized last year.
  
• Planning for an SL Blogger convention.
  
• Helping the group be an even stronger source of tips, advice and support for one another.
  

I am always open to your feedback and ideas. Leave comments here, IM me in-world or email me at tymmerie@gmail.com.

/me jumps up and down excitedly.
__________________________________

Another thing in SLife that makes me happy right now is the Be Right Back: A Photographic Exhibition of SL Bloggers and Friends art show that we are setting up! (Yup, this is the tasteful nude photo meme exhibit I mentioned earlier.) We are kicking it off with a PARTY and EVERYONE IS INVITED!!!!! Sorry for yelling, but I am very serious. Be there!!!! Non-bloggers, bloggers, readers, Lindens, art lovers, newbies oldbies, EVERYONE!

Here are some details:

What: Opening Reception for the Be Right Back: A Photographic Exhibition of SL Bloggers and Friends. Enjoy music, dancing, an open bar, hors d'oeuvres, and wonderful photography. GoSpeed Racer will DJ the event.

When: Saturday June 13th

Time: 11:00 am - 1:00 pm SLT

Where: Ghambt Gallery in Ghambt, Second Life

Dress Code: Formal attire requested.

I hope to see you there!

/me jumps up and down excitedly.


© 2009 All Rights Reserved.

Thursday Happy: Are you going to finish that?

How do I keep my figure? A steady diet of sugary prim cereal
with marshmallows...with all of the nasty cereal bits picked out!

Today’s Thursday Happy is …PRIM FOOD! I adore prim food and drinks. I don’t care that avatars don’t need to eat. I SLove it and have spent thousands and thousands of Lindens on it. My inventory contains a fully stocked and well-organized pantry of food and beverage items, organized by occasion (holidays, parties, snacks, meetings, sit down meals, cooking, etc).

I am quite puzzled by my own virtual attempt to beat Betty Crocker at her own game since my typist hates to cook and just walking by Martha Stewart Living magazine in a store makes her break out in a cold sweat.

If you have ever been to a party at our house, you will have witnessed my overwhelming, weeping joy at the buffet tables I set out. In fact, I often force people to go over and admire the spread. Heaven forbid that you don’t take a sandwich or drink, either. I am rather militant about your enjoyment of what I serve.

I adore the little element of detail that prim food can add to a setting - from the snack I always keep on the coffee table at Starting Point (crispy apples, now) to the coffee/espresso station in our meeting room to the lunches I sometimes leave out in our kitchen for Jerremy. And just wait until parties this summer – I have a new SNOW CONE CART!

OK…I re-read this post and it sounds like I live my SLife like I am the crazed head caterer at an all inclusive vacation resort or on a cruise ship. But I don't care because it makes me so very happy!

So, if you are ever feeling a bit peckish* and are in the neighborhood, stop by! I'll make you SLomething delicious!

*Fun fact: Peckish is on the new banned words list!



© 2009 All Rights Reserved.