A VISIT FROM SANTA
IN SECOND LIFE
Twas two weeks before Christmas, as I strolled ‘cross the grid,
Pondering my Avatar friends as I did.
As I TP’d to shops, I spied Old Saint Nick!
“Santa!” I IM’d, “Please help me! And quick!”
He nodded at me and then followed me home,
where I poured him an ale and he blew off the foam.
“Tell me Dear Santa– as much as you’re able.”
He kicked off his boots; put his feet on my table.
“How do I determine who is naughty or nice?
Please, Santa Baby – give me some advice!”
“You see, my dear Tym, there is a system I use
to rank their behavior and that helps me choose.
“Not ‘naughty’ or ‘nice’ – that’s so old fashioned!”
His voice grew quite loud - he was very impassioned.
“Let’s take the Pearl Clutchers – hard to ignore.
Yes, they may behave, but, oh what a bore!
“They always wear undies – sometimes multiple layers!
They delete empty boxes left by other players.
They stay the same sex in real life or Secon’.
They need a reason to be bad – this much I reckon.”
He opened his mouth and out came a sound.
He turned a bit red and set his glass down.
“Santa!” I gasped, “Let’s keep this classy!”
“Sorry, my dear – ginger ale makes me gassy.
“Following next, we have the Quite Nice.
They’ll help you in sandboxes – don’t have to ask twice!
“They give newbies free things and share camera tips.
They’ll line up your textures and help you fix scripts.
“They spend time in dungeons and trolling sex clubs.
And while they don’t own whips, they’re still mean to Subs!
“Now, we have those who Could Go Either Way.
They were gracious last week, mischievous today.
“They know all the rules for the Gorean cities,
but they only go there to see exposed kitties.
“They correct all their typos when in open chat.
They pronounce LOL on Voice – what’s up with that? :-P
“Get them some gifts that expose them to vice,
and then you’ll find out if they’re naughty or nice!
“Then, we have those who are Just Sort of Bad.
They’re easy to shop for – but they make me mad!
“You know who they are – ‘cause they crash all the sims
with bling and accessories that use up the prims!
“They spy on their neighbors when they’re having SLex.
They change the permissions on all your objects!
“You know I’ve been saving the BEST for last!
If you want a good time, they are a blast!
“The Curl Your Toes Naughty!” he chuckled aloud,
“They’re having more fun than the Lindens allow!”
I looked up at Santa with a questioning glance.
“Tym, Dear! Their Avatars never wear pants!
“They’ve got pose balls set up for a marvelous time,
and the way that they hold you is just so divine!
“They email you pictures of their naughty parts,
and their Role Play skills are way off of the charts!”
He got up to leave and I shook his hand.
I wasn’t quite sure – did I misunderstand?
I pondered the rankings, best as I could recall.
“Santa, the BEST you ranked NAUGHTIEST OF ALL!!”
He smiled, leaned in closely - almost touching my head,
“It’s Second Life, Tym, Dear. I like bad instead!”
