Tuesday, January 31, 2012

The O.G.


The O.G. is back.

And by that, I mean the Original Group - The Second Life Blogger group. 

If you blog about SL, are tolerant of group chat, and wish to socialize with other people who enjoy blogging, contact any current member and they can send you an invitation to the group - just give them your name and blog URL. You can also send me your request to join at SLBloggersGroup@gmail.com.  We take 'em all - news bloggers, fashion bloggers, badly dressed bloggers, humor bloggers, ranting bloggers, blog feed owners, store bloggers, short bloggers, Linden bloggers, opinionated bloggers, lazy bloggers, etc. 

Since this is a social group, lively, respectful group chat is encouraged - just a heads up in case this would annoy you. We'll trade blogging tips, announce events of interest, share memes and blogger challenges, do shameless self-promoting, and more. We're bringing back the quarterly Meet-Up parties, too.

I set up a group Twitter and there is a group Flickr. Social media, FTW.

Because Jerremy and I have land elsewhere now, I turned our fancy, old Linden Home into an SL Blogger Headquarters/Clubhouse. Kind of like a 'home for wayward bloggers'. (The neighbors are going to love it!) This gives group members a casual place to hang out and meet each other. You can hold meetings in the clubhouse, grab a coffee or check out the group Twitter feed there. (It's the first time I've used web on a prim and it works soooooo well.) Perhaps you are looking for a little blogger-on-blogger action? Well, take *that* elsewhere, but feel to meet your next potential lover in the clubhouse!

If you have better decorating tips for the clubhouse, I'm open to them - I did the best I could with 117 prims and the contents of my inventory. And even if you don't have any decorating tips, maybe you can point me in the direction of a lower prim liquor shelf for the clubhouse. (Priorities.)

Friday, January 27, 2012

Isn't It Ironic?


There's been some rumbling in the blogosphere about why LL uses less than ideal photographs in their marketing and on the web site.

Here is my theory: Could the reason behind Linden LabL's use of old, poorly photographed avatars be to make Second Life even less popular?

I submit to you that YES! That is the reason! "But Tymmerie," you ask me incredulously (because you never believe anything I tell you), "Why would LL want to make SL even less popular?" 

To attract hipsters. 

Linden Lab also did away with the unique naming system* -- complete with clever and meaningful surnames -- and replaced it with one reminiscent of a sad AOL chat room. Pretty uncool, if you ask me. And what is something that hipsters like? Uncool. 

Now, imagine internet cafes full of hipsters in ill-fitting pants running badly named avatars on their Macs while playing SL ironically.  

And just how do you play SL ironically? By shunning mesh clothing and prim hair. Going Premium since it isn't cool to be Premium - until it is. Moving into Linden Home neighborhoods in droves, and then, once the neighborhoods start to get gentrified, scrambling to move to Mainland. By enjoying lag. And that store where they get all of their vintage 2007 duds? You've never heard of it.  

This is Linden Lab's plan: 
  • Step 1 - Make comically bad marketing and website pictures that will catch the attention of the notoriously trend averse crowd in the hopes that they will find the clumsy avatars as wonderfully awful as fingerstache tattoos.
  • Step 2 - While everyone lame-stream is off playing Glitch or WoW, hipsters sign up for the terribly unpopular and much maligned Second Life.
  • Step 3 - PROFIT!
So there you have it - that's the niche LL is going after. Linden Lab wants a chunk of that mad Urban Outfitters money.

I've cracked the code of LL's Marketing Strategy. What do I win?

*Yes, I know LL is bringing back last names (When? Who knows.) but I'll bet hipsters will still choose awful names. Like, they'll choose the last name resident on purpose.

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

SLifeguard

OMG January is almost over and I haven't done anything yet for Bath Safety Month! 

Sadly, nothing relevant came up when I searched in-world for 'bathtub safety'. Well, by "nothing relevant came up" I mean, lots of stuff came up, but if you go to those places I imagine that you will end up sore rather than safe

Anyhoo, in order to properly observe National Bathtub Safety Month, I decided to treat my husband Jerremy to an extremely risk-free bath. I think I have almost everything we need here for complete bathtub security... except a 'No Diving' bath mat. (SL creators? Get on that, please!)

I also surfed the web to bring you some bathtub safety tips: 
  • Prevent slips and falls by keeping floors dry not using slippery looking textures on your bathroom floors.
  • Don't have a bathroom in your house. (This is a no-brainer for bathtub safety in both worlds, really.) 
  • Keep electronic appliances away from the tub. (We are out of luck on this one since SL is pretty much 100% electric.)  
  • Avoid the use of falling or slipping animations near your tub. (Seriously. You  can get hurt. And I have told you about the horrible state of SL medical care before). 
  • Never leave a child husband unattended while in the tub.
Since I am both a responsible wife and certified in CPR (Cardio Pixel Resuscitation), I will now supervise Jerremy's bath. That means you need to leave now. Or at least look away.

Thursday, January 19, 2012

The World's Most Dangerous Zoo



This is me and a furry friend chillin' and waiting for my husband Jerremy to log in.  

Not only did I enjoy myself at my recent field trip to Zoo World, but I was able to use it to bump up my blog's Monkey Ratio. The Monkey Ratio is the percentage of monkeys to blog posts - an indicator of blog quality that I made up myself. According to my extensive research, my blog still has the highest monkey-to-post ratio of any Second Life related blog. That's saying something! (I am not sure what exactly it says.)

My Monkey Ratio started with a post examining why someone found this blog by Googling the phrase "monkey is watching us masturbating" and continued in various other posts for years. I'm not sure how other bloggers measure their success. I'll have to ask around. 

By the way, this zoo is super cute and a good place to take pictures. There's a big variety of animals here, too - including the dreaded South American Sloth. (Seriously, I know they are slow, but I find them really creepy. I'm certain they would kill me if they could only catch up to me.) Also, there is free cotton candy.

You should visit Zoo World - even despite the fact that it is very badly designed in terms of visitor safety. See below for evidence.

I mean, really! Really? Does this look safe to you?

Thursday, January 12, 2012

$h!t Girl Avatars Say

"Ugh - I really need to sort my inventory.

"FATPACK! ...I want those shoes! ...The new hair is out! Squee!! ...Where is that dress from? ...Is that a group gift? ...Why is there no fatpack option? ...My inventory is out of control.

"OMG. That girl has the same outfit as me! Twinsies!  Thief! She stole my look! ...Ugh, no. It's got an invisiprim... Is he an alt? ...Is there a demo? ...Look at my boobs in this shirt. ...Who wants to clean my inventory?

"TP me. ...Will you TP me? ...I don't have a landmark, can you just TP me? ...TP, please! ...I just sent you a TP. ...Will someone TP me?

"Prim babies are soooo creepy... Goreans are creepy... Furries are creepy... Lindens are creepy... I'm going to buy a prim baby. Soooooo cute! 

"Were you AFK or were you ignoring me? ...He had a freenis!!!! Ewww!! ...I got hit on when I was in a store today. Ewwww! ...I love being single in SL. ...I hate being single in SL...I should just marry my alt. ...I can't find anything in my inventory.

"Are my boobs too big? ...What do you think of this skin on me? ...I think my avatar is fat. ...I need a new skin. ...Are my boobs too small? ...Do you think her avatar is pretty? I'm prettier, right? ... Do you think my arms are too short? ...I decided to be a redhead. ...I'm just going to play with my sliders.

"I should just delete everything I own and start over."


Post Inspired by the meme inspired by Shit Girls Say 

Friday, January 6, 2012

A Bit of Ostrich for a Joke

Photo by Jerremy Darwin.

"Hi, Honey. You have a box on your head."

"I know. Do you still love me?"

I've been slow to jump on the mesh bandwagon. There are two main reasons for this: my husband Jerremy can't use a mesh viewer right now and I have just not had the time to fuss with sizing and adjusting for it.

Anywho, I recently saw a hairstyle that was cute enough to get me to dip my toes into the meshy waters. Sadly, it pokes into my ears and, since it's no mod, I am at a loss about what to do. I've seen this particular hair blogged a lot on the fashion feeds. A lot. Like, when the hair first came out, it was in every other post. "Was I some wide headed mutant?" I thought to myself. I went back and looked at some of these posts and realized that the headband pokes though many of their ears, too! The fashion bloggers are just trying to hide the ear poking using carefully posed avatars... and voodoo.

Speaking of voodoo, someone suggested that I change my shape in order to get my ears out of the way of the hair. Sadly, I can't. The width of my head is the key to my charm and beauty. Don't believe me? Look. This is my normal shape - complete with my hideously huge ears, but posing carefully to hide them - with nothing changed:


Now, this next photo is me after narrowing my head by only one slider point:

iStockPhoto.com
I'm unrecognizable! It's a good thing Jerremy loves me...

...because I adore the hair!

Sunday, January 1, 2012

Your New Year's ResoSLution

I have a New Year's ResoSLution for you. Yes. Yours. Well, yours if you are still using a facelight.

Facelights are so 2008. Trust.

With the way the lighting in SL works now and the way skins have evolved since 2008, you don't need a facelight. Not to mention how annoying they are to everyone else around you. The glare follows you around like you are wearing a searchlight on your face. You are washing out everything (including your potentially lovely self) for everyone around you - which is incredibly bothersome for others, who then derender you. You are so pretty when you are derendered - all invisible and see-through and transparent!

For those who think facelights make you look pretty here is a little demonstration:

Here is what you could look like to everyone around you WITHOUT a facelight - using myself as an example:

And this is a picture I took of a polar bear eating marshmallows while standing in a snowstorm:


Not really. Polar bears *hate* marshmallows. But this is what a facelight wearer looks like to everyone around them! This photo was taken with a facelight made up of only 3 lights! I've seen some facelight addicts rez in with an entire solar system of lights around their heads.

Pretty girls don't need to wear facelights. (See what I did there? I am throwing down the gauntlet!) Help make SL beautiful -- ditch the facelight.

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